Chapter One Hundred and One: The Second Lord God Pressured to Marry

That night, after she got home, Yu Qian brought up the matter in the group chat and sent out a great many red envelopes as a token of thanks for everyone’s hard work.

Since the children of the Six Realms were all studying under the sages now, the Heavenly Dao, for the sake of easier communication between teachers and parents, had taken it upon itself to merge the two group chats into one.

Ever since the merger, the chat had been in complete uproar.

The teachers and parents roared, the little brats scrambled and cavorted, and not a single day passed in peace.

After graduating from the sages’ tutelage, Yu Qian no longer had to study day and night. She finally had the leisure to watch the naughty children get a sound beating.

Whenever she appeared, she would send out a big handful of melon seeds and crack them with the others while enjoying the show.

After sending out tonight’s lucky red envelopes, Yu Qian also sent private red envelopes to the masters who had provided the design drafts. Only then did she send out the melon seeds again.

Come on, let’s watch the show.

Oh ho, Hong Hai’er and Nezha are skipping homework again, and they even led Jinzha and Muzha astray. They deserve a beating.

Huh? Why is Long San getting hit too? So he secretly took Long Jiu and Jingwei to look at obscene pictures. Deserved.

Hey, isn’t that Erlang Shen? Why is he getting beaten too?

Seeing that the person being thrashed was Erlang Shen, Yu Qian paused for a moment, then went right on cracking her seeds.

“Are there any faults with these fair ladies? They’re beautiful and capable, pleasant to keep at home and impressive enough to take out! I’m asking you to meet them, so why can’t you just go? You’ve been single for thousands of years and you still want to stay single? Don’t you even think you stink?” Yaoji shouted as she chased Erlang Shen with the feather duster Yu Qian had sent earlier.

When he heard his own mother call him stinky, Erlang Shen could not stand it. He stopped and yelled back, “Mother, how does your son stink?”

Yaoji also stopped. Her hand itched, and she smacked him with the duster before saying, “Haven’t you smelled the rotten stench of a bachelor who’s been single for thousands of years?”

“Your son is as splendid as jade, skilled in both literature and arms. Even if I’m single, I’m still a diamond bachelor,” Erlang Shen said, truly unconvinced. In the TV dramas of the mortal world, men like him were called diamond bachelors, not bachelors.

“Bachelor! Bachelor! Diamond, my foot! A real diamond bachelor is never short of women around him. And you? Apart from that foolish young crush you once had on Chang’e, what woman has ever been by your side?” Yaoji exploded and resumed beating her son.

Erlang Shen hurriedly darted away, shouting as he ran, “How can you say there are no women? Then where do you put Sweetie? Isn’t Sweetie a woman?”

“If Sweetie is a woman, then take her already! Your old mother has been wanting a granddaughter for thousands of years!”

Mother and son turned the subject of marriage into a storm that nearly tore the little grotto heaven apart.

Yu Qian glanced at the Celestial Hound sitting beside her, also munching melon seeds and watching the fun, and nudged her with an elbow. “Aren’t you going to confess and take him down?”

“Hm?” Sweetie, the girl known as the Celestial Hound, looked at her in confusion.

“Your master. Is a secret crush of thousands of years not exhausting? Don’t you plan to turn it into a real relationship?”

Yu Qian’s words made Sweetie’s expression darken. “My lord likes Lady Chang’e. If I say it out loud, I won’t even have the chance to stay by his side anymore.”

Yu Qian rolled her eyes. Fool.

“Your master stopped liking Chang’e long ago.”

“How could that be?” Sweetie did not believe her.

Yu Qian pinched the bridge of her nose. She realized that the Celestial Hound had probably followed Erlang Shen for too long, and because she was a little insecure, she could no longer tell whom her master truly liked.

If she had not been an outsider looking on, Yu Qian would not have seen through Erlang Shen’s heart either.

When he was being beaten, he would mention Sweetie, and every now and then he would steal a glance at her. When he saw that she had no reaction to being urged toward marriage, the disappointment he could not hide spoke volumes.

Only a fool would fail to see that Erlang Shen had fallen for the little girl he had raised himself.

Yaoji had probably noticed some sign of it too, which was why she kept shouting for Erlang Shen to take Sweetie.

After thinking it over, Yu Qian decided she ought to help Erlang Shen win the beauty’s heart sooner rather than later.

“Chang’e is beautiful. When Erlang Shen was young and ignorant, it was only natural for him to be moved by a beauty. But being moved does not mean he would keep liking her forever, or that they would end up together. If you never try, how would you know you have no chance? Maybe your master likes you too.”

Sweetie turned and looked at Yu Qian in silence. “Really?”

“Sweetie is so lovely. Just as Lady Yaoji said, beautiful and capable—how could anyone not like you? Give yourself a chance and confess. If Erlang Shen refuses, we’ll help you tie him up and make the whole thing a done deal.”