Chapter Five: Nüwa Is a Foodie

When Wen Yu arrived at Yu Hua’s house, they had just finished breakfast. “Big brother, I’d like to call Wen Zi,” she said.

“Good morning, Auntie,” Yu Zhen greeted her, opening the door to the small sitting room.

Yu Zhen was Yu Wen’s older brother’s daughter, ten years older than Yu Qian, and had just finished her college entrance exams this year.

“Zhen Zhen, if you have time, could you help your cousin with her studies?” Wen Yu thought about how many years it had been since her own daughter had cracked open an elementary school textbook, and what if she couldn’t handle some of the questions? So she casually asked her niece if she had time.

“Sure, I can tutor her before school starts,” Yu Zhen replied with a smile.

While they spoke, her husband had already picked up the phone.

“A Yu,” he called from the other end.

“Wen Zi, something’s happened with Qian Qian—she’s sick. Can you come home?” Wen Yu didn’t beat around the bush, simply using this reason to call Yu Wen back.

“What’s wrong with our youngest? What illness? Is it serious, has she seen a doctor?” Yu Wen, always doting on his daughter, grew anxious at the news.

“It’s not serious, she’s seen a doctor, but she misses you. Please come home.”

“All right, I’ll ask for leave soon. Take care of our girl until I get back!” Hearing that his daughter missed him, Yu Wen didn’t ask any more questions before deciding to return.

“Travel safely, goodbye.”

After hanging up and thanking her brother-in-law, Wen Yu headed to work.

Meanwhile, Yu Qian was at home boiling water, planning to take the Marrow-Cleansing Pill now.

She took the pill out from her phone. It was lustrous white, like a piece of jade, exuding an air of immortality. She felt a pang of reluctance—it would be gone as soon as she swallowed it.

She carefully carried the hot water to the bathroom and fetched clean clothes before finally taking the pill. In less than a minute, she felt its effects.

At first, it was pain—her tendons widened, her bones shattered and reformed. The pain was so intense Yu Qian wished she could faint. But Fuxi had told her she mustn’t lose consciousness; if she did, the pill wouldn’t be as effective and she’d waste it.

After three minutes, the pain lessened, and at the same time, a lot of black, greasy substance was expelled from her body. These were impurities, and only with their expulsion would her body become truly healthy.

Soaking in the tub, she scrubbed herself over and over again, using up an entire bar of soap before she finally felt somewhat clean.

Dressed and having tidied up the bathroom and kitchen, Yu Qian walked in front of the mirror to examine herself carefully. The change was subtle, but her skin was visibly fairer and more radiant. The drooping outer corners of her eyes had lifted slightly, the swelling of her hooded eyelids had vanished, leaving her with large, double-lidded, almond-shaped eyes.

Yu Qian’s features, aside from her eyes, had always inherited the best from her parents: an oval face, a high straight nose, lips with a delicate curve that needed only the faintest touch of color to look exquisite. But those eyes—just like her father’s—hooded and drooping at the corners, made her eyes look small no matter what makeup she wore.

Now, with just a minor change to her eyelids and eye shape, her entire face seemed transformed. Even with a bit of baby fat still lingering, it was obvious she was a budding beauty.

“Ah, I really am a little fairy—so pretty!” After admiring her own reflection to her heart’s content, the conceited Yu Qian happily took out the Destiny Brush, dipped it in ink, and tried her hand at calligraphy.

But while the idea was wonderful, reality was harsh.

Her calligraphy was worse than a dog’s scrawl, her characters crooked and shaky, not a single one well-formed.

“Calligraphy is so hard. If only it were a fountain pen,” she muttered in dismay, only to be startled when the Destiny Brush in her hand transformed into a black fountain pen, clearly more sophisticated than any in her pencil box.

“Turn into a ballpoint pen.”

“A pencil.”

“A marker.”

...

Yu Qian, as if she’d discovered a new world, proceeded to recite every type of pen she knew, with the Destiny Brush transforming each and every time.

When she finally calmed down enough to do her homework, she realized she no longer struggled with math like she did yesterday. Just a glance at a problem and she knew how to solve it, writing quickly and confidently.

[Shallow Water Fish]: “Ahhhhh! Dao Sovereign, I love you! Ancestral God, I love you! Thank you, Dao Sovereign, for the Marrow-Cleansing Pill, and thank you, Ancestral God, for the Destiny Brush!”

Yu Qian opened the group chat to declare her gratitude. As always, Pangu remained silent, but Fuxi replied encouragingly, “Study hard.”

[Nine Heavens Mysterious Lady]: “Speaking of studying, @Troublemaker No.1 Nezha @Troublemaker No.2 Red Boy @Troublemaker No.3 Lei Zhenzi... where’s your holiday homework? It’s been overdue for half the month—do you want to be lectured by Guanyin?”

[Alluring Jade-Faced Fox]: “Hey, didn’t I do Little Red’s homework for him?”

[Iron Fan at Home with a Troublemaker]: “Hmm? You did it?”

[Alluring Jade-Faced Fox] has withdrawn a message.

[Alluring Jade-Faced Fox]: “Sister, you must be mistaken, Little Red did his homework himself!”

[Iron Fan at Home with a Troublemaker]: “Smiles/”

Yu Qian nearly laughed herself to tears—so even gods still had to do homework! Nezha and the others had it rough. She was surprised that the Jade-Faced Fox and Princess Iron Fan got along so well; she remembered them at each other’s throats in Journey to the West. Who knew what the Bull Demon King was up to now?

[Little Cutie Dragon Nine]: “Nezha and the others aren’t doing their homework again!”

[Little Cutie Jingwei]: “As expected—troublemakers!”

[Little Cutie Golden Boy]: “Not only mischievous, but terrible at their studies!”

[Little Cutie Jade Girl]: “Golden Boy and I are the best—we always hand in our homework on time!”

Yu Qian noticed that Dragon Nine and Jingwei always spoke one after another—obviously close friends. And the newly appeared Golden Boy and Jade Girl—if she remembered correctly, they were attendants under Guanyin.

She also spotted a pattern: those whose names started with “Troublemaker” never turned in their homework, while those with “Little Cutie” always did. It seemed these prefixes were assigned by the Mysterious Lady of Nine Heavens, clearly marking the academic stars and slackers.

The Mysterious Lady was still urging the slackers to submit their work, and the slackers didn’t dare say a word, afraid to be caught.

[Nüwa]: “I just looked through the Water Mirror with Xi to check on the mortal world. There’s so much food, nothing like ours. I want to try it~”

As soon as Nüwa spoke, the group went dead quiet.

Nüwa was a foodie, wanting to eat everything, but she was picky—if the food wasn’t up to her standards, she’d complain, even to the God of Cookery himself. So no one dared respond, afraid she’d rope them into cooking.

Silence reigned in the group, and even the Mysterious Lady, usually brandishing her forty-meter blade as she pressed for homework, sheathed her weapon.

[Nüwa]: “Waaah, why is everyone ignoring me? I want something delicious TAT.”

Yu Qian’s first instinct was to retort, but as soon as she saw the name, she quickly restrained herself.

She kept silent, switched to her wallet app, and looked at the money inside—wondering how to withdraw it, though she didn’t know how.

In this era, money was worth a lot—ten yuan could buy so much. With over a million, she was certainly considered wealthy, enough to serve as capital for whatever she wanted to do.