Chapter 55: The Baby Is Coming

“Ow!” Xiaoshun clutched his stomach and suddenly cried out.

The rest of the boys froze in place. Xiaoshan quickly asked, “What’s wrong, what’s wrong?”

“Is the baby kicking you?”

Xiaoshun held his stomach, his face uneasy, and after hearing this, he turned as pale as a sheet. “I—I don’t know.”

Xiaoliu, standing nearby, also clutched his stomach and wailed, “I—I think my stomach hurts too.”

“What? You—you're not about to give birth, are you?”

“What? So soon?” Xiaoshun and Xiaoliu stared at each other in shock.

They glanced at each other’s stomachs, then at their own, and the pain seemed to intensify.

Xiaoshan panicked. “But your bellies aren’t even that big!”

“Big bellies are for women. We’re boys. Maybe ours don’t need to be big to give birth. We ate so many pumpkin seeds, after all.”

At this, everyone felt it made sense, and their panic only deepened.

“Oh no, I think I’m about to give birth. What should I do? It hurts so much. I ate quite a lot. Am I going to have a whole string of them?”

Seeing Xiaoshun and Xiaoliu in pain, the others immediately began to feel something wrong with their own stomachs.

“What do we do? I—I think I ate six just now.”

“That’s nothing, I had eight or nine.”

“Boo hoo... I didn’t eat many, but I didn’t chew them—I swallowed five whole.”

When they did the math, they realized they’d all eaten quite a lot, and it felt as if the sky was about to fall.

“What now?”

“Are we going to give birth on the road?” That would be far too embarrassing.

Xiaoshan’s face crumpled, as if he were about to cry at any moment. But then he remembered that if he was about to become a father, that meant he was an adult, and adults shouldn’t cry. So he forced back his tears and stammered, “I don’t know how to have a baby.”

“I don’t either.”

Who would know!

And so, the boys huddled together, groaning softly as they helped each other home. As for why they didn’t call out loudly, of course it was because they were too embarrassed for anyone to find out.

The first to arrive was Xiaoshi, who made a pact with his friends to let each other know through someone if any of them gave birth, before hurriedly supporting himself on the doorframe and entering the house.

His mother was grinding soybeans at home. Seeing her son return so soon after leaving to play, she found it odd but paid it little mind, calling out for Xiaoshi to come help her.

Back home, Xiaoshi no longer had to hold it in as he had outside. Upon hearing his mother ask him to work, he immediately burst out, “How can I grind soybeans now? I’m about to give birth, and you still want me to work. You’re trying to wear me out! See if you’ll have any sons or grandsons left!”

His aggrieved wail, pitched high and shrill, made him sound just like a bullied young wife, only lacking the spectacle of clutching his belly and rolling about on the ground.

His mother, utterly confused by her son’s words, tried to make sense of it. “What do you mean, you’re about to give birth? Sons and grandsons?”

“…You’re just a cruel, rich landlady, the evil mother-in-law who torments her daughter-in-law. I’m about to give birth and you still make me work—this is murder.” Belly aching, Xiaoshi continued his lament, supporting himself on the doorframe and pitifully wailing from the threshold.

Now his mother finally heard what he was yelling about and stood rooted to the spot. “You little rascal, what do you mean, you’re about to give birth? You’re a boy—what would you be giving birth to?”

“I am about to give birth! You don’t understand. You’ve no idea how much my stomach hurts. Don’t you see I’m about to have a child, and you still make me work…”

For the first time, Xiaoshi felt like a withered cabbage in the field—unloved and uncared for.

He must have been picked up off the street. His mother didn’t care about him at all, not even when he was about to give birth.

Similar scenes played out in the other boys’ homes.

Unlike Xiaoshi, Xiaoshun called out for his mother as soon as he stepped through the door. It would be shameful to give birth outside, but at home, who else could he turn to but his own mother?

“Mom! Mom! Come quick, help! My stomach hurts—I’m about to give birth…”

His mother was tending vegetables in the back garden when she heard her son’s desperate cries. Thinking something terrible had happened, she dropped her work and rushed to the front yard.

She found her son clutching his belly under the eaves, his face flushed as he sobbed that he was about to give birth.

Going to give birth?

She smacked Xiaoshun on the head, exasperated. “What nonsense are you spouting? You’re just a child—what baby are you having?”

“But my stomach hurts!”

“That’s because you ate something bad outside and upset your stomach. It has nothing to do with having a baby.” Without missing a beat, she added, “Alright, stop shouting. Go to the latrine, then chew some ‘Die-Not-Pull.’ I have work to do—stop making a fuss.”

This silly child, where did he even pick up this talk about giving birth? A little stomachache and he starts spouting nonsense. Good thing he said it at home—if it were outside, people would laugh themselves silly.

Shaking her head at her son, she turned to head back to the garden.

“No, wait, Mother, it’s not the same.” Seeing that his mother had no intention of helping, nor of boiling water to deliver the child, Xiaoshun panicked. Forgetting his pain, he flung himself at her, hugging her leg, gazing up with a pitiful look. “Mother, you’re really not going to help me?”

“How am I not helping? Didn’t I tell you to chew some ‘Die-Not-Pull’?”

‘Die-Not-Pull’ was a common herbal remedy in the countryside, used to treat diarrhea. In Niuluo Village and nearby places, it was the go-to cure, passed down from their ancestors, and always effective.

The Bai family of Niuluo Village had once produced an imperial physician, so it wasn’t unusual for the villagers to know a bit about herbs for everyday ailments. The vulgar name was chosen for its memorability.

His mother, nearly tripped by her son clinging to her leg, looked down to scold him but, seeing his pitiful face—pale with pain—relented. “Fine, I’ll go pick some ‘Die-Not-Pull’ for you. You head to the latrine.”

“No, Mother, it’s not that—I’m not having diarrhea, I’m about to give birth.” At this, Xiaoshun burst into tears.

“Mother, you don’t understand, I really am about to have a baby. Please, find a midwife for me. No, don’t—it would be too embarrassing. Xiaoshi’s family has probably gotten to her first. You help me deliver, please…” As he thought about it, Xiaoshun felt incredibly pitiful. Not only did he have to give birth to so many, but without a midwife, who knew if father and son would make it through?

His mother stared at him, bewildered. “What are you talking about?”

For the first time, Xiaoshun felt his mother was hopelessly dense. He wanted to yell at her, but the pain left him no strength, and anyway, he was afraid if he angered her, she’d ignore him and he’d have to go without a midwife.

So, crying, he tried to explain, “Mother, my stomach hurts—I’m about to give birth.”

(Haha, six thousand words today! Aren’t I amazing?)