Chapter 64 Why Me?

That man was an official in the imperial court, a brilliant youth, accomplished in both talent and appearance, and already married.

Furthermore, his wife’s family was equally prominent and influential.

Drinking flower wine and discussing poetry and tea with courtesans was considered an elegant and romantic pastime, but fathering a child with one was far from reputable.

Once the matter came to light, both would face punishment.

Mother Yu would inevitably be forced to undergo an abortion, or worse, be sold off or even lose her life. As for the official, while it might not cause him severe harm, he would undoubtedly become a laughingstock in the imperial court and damage his official career.

Unable to bear the thought of losing the child she had conceived with such difficulty, Mother Yu kept it a secret from her lover. Under the cover of her sworn sisters, she bound her abdomen with white silk, using the excuse of recovering from an illness to deceive the officials managing the Ministry of Rites’ Music Bureau, and successfully gave birth to a baby girl.

Regrettably, because she was a mother at the advanced age of thirty and had compressed her abdomen throughout the pregnancy, the baby girl was born with a congenital foot deformity.

The Music Bureau was no place to raise children.

On the very day of the birth, a wet nurse who had been arranged beforehand carried the infant away.

At first, Mother Yu could catch a glimpse of her child from afar every month.

Later, as the child grew older, they stopped meeting altogether to avoid suspicion.

Time flew by, and seven or eight years passed in the blink of an eye. It was not until the ascension of the new emperor, when the Music Bureau was relocated from the Chessboard Street, that older women like Mother Yu were left behind at the original site, partly so she could keep an eye on Rong Xue.

"In other words, Rong Xue doesn't even recognize you as her mother? Then... who on earth are Xiao Lin and the others?"

An Chunfeng rubbed her head in exasperation; she felt as though she had entangled herself in a troublesome affair.

"They are all orphaned refugees who used to beg for a living on the streets," Mother Yu answered without concealing anything.

Xiao Lin and Black Bean had arrived in the capital seven years ago during an influx of refugees from the south. She had discovered them while distributing porridge outside the city walls and had arranged for the wet nurse to take them in as foster sons, intending for them to serve as household servants to look after Rong Xue in the future.

As for Little Bean, he was a beggar whom Black Bean had picked up at a street corner two years ago.

"And what about the wet nurse?"

"The wet nurse died three years ago!"

Eleven years ago, the wet nurse had been pregnant with a posthumous child. After her husband died, she was driven out of her husband's family and wandered the markets with a distended belly looking for work.

It was Mother Yu who had rented a room for her to await the birth. Unfortunately, the posthumous child was born with congenital illnesses, was frail from birth, and died when it was six months old.

The wet nurse raised Rong Xue until she was seven. One day, after being caught in the rain outside the city, she cared only for the child and ultimately fell ill and died from a severe chill.

Dead again!

An Chunfeng's hand trembled, and she finally pulled loose her hair bun.

The medical conditions here were dismal, leaving a person's life and death entirely to the mercy of the heavens. She would need to carefully hone her medical skills in the future so that she wouldn't lose her life simply from getting caught in the rain.

She did not foolishly ask why they hadn't found a physician for the wet nurse.

Judging from that scene she had witnessed at the Rejuvenation Hall, no matter how much silver Mother Yu possessed, she was in no position to openly invite a skilled physician to provide treatment.

An Chunfeng swallowed back the questions she had wanted to ask about the child's biological father. Since Mother Yu avoided the subject, she had no right to inquire.

Better to mind her own business than to invite trouble; hearing too many such dark secrets served no purpose.

"What kind of favor does Mother Yu want from me?" Since they had talked this much, avoiding rendering assistance was impossible; she might as well ask what specifically needed to be done.

Come to think of it, Rong Xue had not lived a bitter life for very long.

In the early years, with the silver Mother Yu secretly sent, the wet nurse and the children had never lacked food or shelter.

Three years ago, when the wet nurse passed away from illness, Xiao Lin and Black Bean were eleven and ten years old respectively. They were capable of cooking, washing clothes, and taking care of Rong Xue.

The three children continued to live in the house the wet nurse had previously rented for another two years, during which time they were joined by the little one, Little Bean.

Without the wet nurse, and unable to meet the children directly, Mother Yu could only leave provisions at their doorstep.

Once the money left behind by the wet nurse ran out, Xiao Lin and the others began taking on odd jobs to earn a living, which was why they had eventually moved into the crowded tenement courtyard.

Mother Yu sighed, "I am the daughter of a disgraced official, a tainted soul. Yet Rong Xue is innocent; she has done nothing wrong, and her only sin lies in having been born of my womb. To spare the child from future suffering, I have never acknowledged her or dared to have the slightest public association with her, managing only to secretly provide them with food through charitable donations. Now that the children are growing older in that kind of tenement courtyard, it is ultimately inappropriate. I have been anxious and worried, constantly wishing to find someone to lend a helping hand, yet afraid that if my intentions were known, I might entrust the wrong person and harm everyone instead."

An Chunfeng sighed helplessly, beginning to understand Mother Yu's perspective.

Her choice not to acknowledge Rong Xue, keeping the child in the dark about her true mother, was a profound manifestation of maternal love.

If people discovered that Rong Xue was the daughter of a courtesan, it would mean that ice-pure girl would be condemned to live forever in the darkest shadows of society's lowest strata, despised for life as "the spawn of a whore."

Social standing could rarely be bought with mere money.

Even though Mother Yu had once been the foremost courtesan of the capital with a legendary reputation for beauty, Physician Shen could still publicly hurl insults at her, declaring that "once a whore, always a whore."

Being mocked and cursed was one thing, but she couldn't even step foot into a medical clinic, forced instead to endure her suffering and await death.

Living outside the household registration system had its own ways of survival; as long as one had food and clothing, happiness could still be found.

Yet the psychological torment inflicted by a lowly social status would be endless.

"Is Mother Yu hoping to find a new dwelling for the children?"

Guessing Mother Yu's intention, An Chunfeng realized that the problems she had noticed during her single visit to the tenement courtyard were certainly known to Mother Yu, which explained why Xiao Lin had been searching for a suitable house over the past few days.

Mother Yu nodded. "They do not need to look elsewhere. There is a place in Pear Blossom Alley. I have already prepared a courtyard there, and I would like to trouble Mistress An to step forward and lease it in your name, and look after them in the future."

With that, she looked at An Chunfeng with nervous anticipation.

An Chunfeng frowned and remained silent, merely picking up her teacup to take a small sip.

The tea was lukewarm, a bitter taste filling her mouth before the subtle sweetness gradually emerged upon slow rumination.

The atmosphere in the room grew somewhat heavy.

"Mother Yu, why did you think of me? I am merely a widowed woman who has left her family, devoid of power or influence, and hardly able to protect even myself! I cannot offer Rong Xue any shelter. You had better seek someone else!"

An Chunfeng believed that Mother Yu would not have disclosed Rong Xue's true background solely for the sake of renting a house.

Rong Xue was eleven years old this year. According to the customs of the Great Liang Dynasty, girls reached womanhood at the age of fifteen, at which point marriage arrangements would be discussed. That left Rong Xue with only four years.

In her past life, An Chunfeng's interpersonal relationships had been simple and she had been entirely on her own. Yet upon arriving in the Great Liang Dynasty, she had instantly acquired a "son" whom she still didn't know how to handle properly; she had no desire to shackle herself with the future of another young girl.

Besides, that girl was not only unregistered, but her biological mother's background was extraordinarily complicated.

She and Mother Yu had only met once. By what right, and for what reason, should she meddle in such idle affairs?

Hearing An Chunfeng's evasion, Mother Yu remained calm and unhurried, entirely confident in her own judgment. She smiled faintly, "Mistress An, if it were anyone else, I would have to consider the matter thoroughly, but you are different!"

"Oh? How am I different?" An Chunfeng needed to clarify this; by what virtue or capability had she caught this woman's eye?

Mother Yu replied, "You knew perfectly well that Xiao Lin was unregistered, yet you still took him in. Furthermore, you were willing to pay him a fair wage of eight hundred cash, without taking advantage of his situation to cut his earnings."

In the capital city, the wages paid to unregistered individuals were typically only forty to sixty percent of those given to ordinary commoners—a tacitly accepted practice where payments relied entirely on one's conscience.

Unregistered workers were utterly helpless against this, and even employment agencies operated the same way.

An Chunfeng shook her head. How could she ever bring herself to exploit the earnings of those at the very bottom?

For low-income individuals every single coin had a designated purpose.

Squeezing their meager wages was like snatching food from the jaws of a starving wolf; either the wolf died or your hand was bitten off.

The pennies saved by such deductions wouldn't make anyone wealthy, but they could very well cost someone their life.

She had given Xiao Lin eight hundred cash not out of any sudden outburst of supreme benevolence, but simply by acting according to proper principles, yet it had somehow made her a good person.