Chapter 60: What to do if you find a little girl? Call the police!

Chapter 60: What to Do If You Find a Lost Girl? Call the Police!

"What the heck?!"

Lu Li was jolted awake by a sharp pain.
It was a headache.
Moreover, when he opened his eyes, he was not greeted by his familiar ceiling.
Nor was it an unfamiliar ceiling, of course.
What met his eyes were his own four faintly visible abdominal muscles.
And the morning symbol of a young man right below them.
He desperately needed to pee.
It might have also had something to do with the dream he had last night.
In his dream, he was having all sorts of chaotic, passionate encounters with three monster maidens.
There wasn't really anything wrong with that so far, seeing as Lu Li committed bigamy with countless beautiful girls in his dreams every single day.
However, the tone gradually took a terrifying turn afterward.
Once he was utterly exhausted, not only were the three maidens unsatisfied, but to punish him for straying from his marital duties and flirting around with other girls, they manifested tentacles and wildly molested his anus!

Lu Li was horrified!
Lu Li was furious!
No one was allowed to touch his anus!
No one!
Not even a doctor!
That was why he never got physical check-ups, because he heard there was a procedure called a "digital rectal examination."
A digital exam, as the name implied, was an inspection using fingers.
The one using the finger was the doctor, while the one being inspected was the patient.
As for how the inspection was conducted with a finger...
That needed no further elaboration.

Lu Li executed a textbook forward roll right then and there to dodge!
And then...
Well, obviously, didn't he just roll right off the bed and smash his head against the floor?

"That was seriously terrifying..."

Anyway, Lu Li climbed up, rubbed his forehead, and prepared to head to the bathroom to wash up.
He still had to go to work today.
As soon as he stood up, he heard a "rip" sound. His boxers split open, exposing his entire butt cheek to the air.

"...Unlucky!"

He simply decided to change into a fresh pair of underwear.
While putting on his pants, his feet tripped over each other, and he took another face-plant onto the floor.
Fortunately, he instinctively raised his arm to shield his face, preventing the bridge of his nose on his incredibly handsome face (certified by the three monster maidens) from kissing the floor.
He also warded off the possibility of his front teeth fleeing from home.
This time, he didn't dare curse his bad luck. Instead, he got up, silently shuffled into his slippers, and dragged himself to the bathroom.
He picked up his toothbrush, squeezed toothpaste onto it, and shoved it into his mouth. The moment he applied a little pressure, the toothbrush handle snapped in half.

"..."

Lu Li maintained a blank expression, holding the half-broken toothbrush handle, and continued brushing his teeth.
When he finished and went to turn on the tap to fill his cup with water... the water had been shut off, dammit!
Lu Li still maintained a blank expression.
He simply "floated" over to the refrigerator at the junction of the living room and kitchen and silently opened the door.
Ah, the power was out too.
The food inside the fridge was already starting to spoil.

Lu Li's mouth, stained with a mysterious white foam, twitched slightly, but he still didn't lose his temper. Instead, he quietly picked up a bottle of purified water, returned to the bathroom, and resumed washing up.
This time he was extremely cautious, striving to avoid any further mishaps.
Finally, aside from his gums bleeding slightly, no new disasters occurred.
Once he had completely finished tidying up, he headed out for work.
To avoid leaving his phone at home, he kept a tight grip on it in his hand.
Yet, just after closing the door and trying to slide the phone into his pants pocket, he failed to feel his house keys or his scooter keys.
Neither his BMW keys nor his scooter keys were there.
Lu Li hurried to pull the door handle.
Naturally, his comforting sanctuary had firmly locked its doors against him.

"What the actual hell?!"

Lu Li finally lost his sanity.
Today was truly like the mother of bad luck opening the door for bad luck—bad luck had arrived home in full force!
Whatever, he would just hail a taxi.
However, when he turned around, he froze in place on the spot.
The girl wearing a high school uniform whom he had seen returning last night was still maintaining her posture, hugging her knees.
This time, however, she wasn't burying her head; instead, she was looking up at him with a pitiful expression.
That exquisite little face of hers was simply stunning!
You could say it was no less impressive than Miss Bai and the others.
However, this girl appeared somewhat more youthful.
If Miss Bai and Miss Luo were powerful mature women, and Sister Huai Xu was a young girl in the middle of transitioning into a mature woman, then this girl belonged to the slightly tender category of youth.
Visually estimated, she couldn't be older than eighteen.
She might even be under seventeen.

Lu Li suddenly plunged into deep terror.
Judging by the string of bad luck he had suffered since waking up, he must absolutely not speak to her right now!
Otherwise, one or several of the following outcomes might occur:
1. The young girl pulls out anti-wolf spray and maces him right in the face.
2. The young girl pulls out a dagger to show him something new—though certainly not his prostate.
3. The neighbor's door suddenly opens, and the neighbor calls the police.
4. The young girl calls the police.

Therefore, there was only one choice left: simply ignore her.
Even if she looked pitiful.
Even if she might not have gone home all night.
What on earth did that have to do with him, Lu Li!

Thinking of this, Lu Li's mind suddenly cleared up.
Without looking back, and too lazy to even wait for the elevator, he slipped straight down the stairwell.

The girl bit her lip, disappointment flashing in her eyes.
A few minutes later, however, the disappointment in her eyes vanished.
Because she heard the sound of the elevator operating.
Very soon, the doors opened.
Who else could it be stepping out if not Lu Li?
Lu Li handed her the freshly bought hot steamed buns and soybean milk.
After she murmured a "thank you" and took them, he decisively turned around and prepared to bolt.

"Wait!"

Lu Li paused for a fraction of a second, then prepared to resume his escape.

"I have nowhere left to go..."

Lu Li halted his steps.
"..."
After a moment of hesitation, Lu Li cursed under his breath, turned around, and put on a deeply helpless expression. "Where are your parents?"
"My parents died in a car accident. My uncle and aunt became my legal guardians, but they swallowed the compensation my parents left behind and abused me..."

The girl's eyes were dead and desolate, and the pitiful aura radiating from her made Lu Li's heart ache fiercely.
That expression of a neglected, injured puppy was almost impossible for any normal person with a shred of empathy to withstand.
Lu Li had a kind heart and couldn't bear to look at such things.
Therefore, he decided to let this girl leave his field of vision immediately.

"Then let me help you call the police." Lu Li took out his phone, ready to dial emergency services. "Whenever you're in trouble, look for the police. I believe the police officers can help you out."

Fat chance he was going to take this girl in.
This wasn't some adult manga; there was no such absurd plotline.
At that moment, the contents of two specific manga works flashed through his mind.
Both of those stories featured pure romance plots where an office worker picks up a runaway girl.
Fat chance! Absolutely impossible!

"No!"
His hand holding the phone was suddenly grabbed.
"What are you doing?! Stay away from me!" Lu Li scrambled backward with a series of flailing movements, leaping two meters away.
He glared at the girl with utmost vigilance. "Don't come closer! Or I'm calling the police!"
While speaking, he also cast wary glances at the doors of the other residents nearby.

"Don't..." The girl bit her lower lip, keeping her head down, looking thoroughly pitiable. "If you call the police, they'll send me back... I don't want to go back anymore..."

Lu Li maintained a blank expression. "Why did you pick me?"
Fat chance, he didn't know this girl at all.
Naturally, he couldn't possibly know her deceased parents either.

"I've been wandering around the residential complex for several days. A few days ago, I saw you feeding the stray kittens, big brother... I knew you were a good person..."

Lu Li's attitude softened.
"Fine. But staying at my place is out of the question. I have to go to work right now. I'll go book a room for you at a hotel first. You can rest there for the day, or go to class, how does that sound?"

The girl's cheeks flushed slightly, and her large eyes darted left and right, not daring to meet Lu Li's gaze.
After a long moment, she nodded gently. "Okay..."

Lu Li: "..."
What are you blushing for?
Why on earth are you blushing?!

Of course, he hadn't changed his mind; he merely intended to stabilize the girl first.
After all, if what she said was true... she was indeed quite pitiful.
He would settle her down first, then go straight to find his good buddy Fang Yuebai to see if she could investigate this girl's background.
After all, even though his good buddy was a professional slacker, she was still a member of the official system.
She should have a way to handle it.
That was still much better than this girl hanging around with him.
That's settled!

*A Broke Single Man's Diary:* The internet is not a lawless place. When encountering this kind of situation, of course you should call the police just like Lu Li did. That's always what I've believed. However, I stopped caring pretty soon after, because... well, a JK (schoolgirl) this pretty, well-figured, and endearing isn't going to show up at my doorstep anyway...

*(End of Chapter)*