Chapter 50

After Lin Sheng went inside, Xu Xieyi lingered by the corridor window, lost in thought.

A few diligent students sat on the nearby stairs reading, while many more strolled towards the downstairs in groups.

Listening to their occasional hushed conversations, her thoughts drifted aimlessly.

She recalled that time at the hot springs, and what Fu Xiaoyin had said after finding a boyfriend:

- A man like your Brother Lin is simply not someone ordinary people can handle. You are better off finding someone more down-to-earth and living a proper life.

- Little sister, you must remember, no one in this world loves only a single person and feels nothing for anyone else of the opposite sex. Sometimes, settling for second best isn't necessarily a bad thing.

- Your Brother Lin has a very detached view of relationships...

At the time, she was too bewildered to understand, but now, she was beginning to comprehend a little of Fu Xiaoyin's words and sentiments...

"What are you thinking about so intently?"

A clear, youthful voice suddenly interrupted her reverie.

Xu Xieyi turned her head to see Xu Muzhou walking over, his hands tucked into the pockets of his school trousers. Among the boys in the back two rows of the class, he was probably the one who wore his school uniform the most neatly.

"I wasn't thinking about anything..."

Xu Muzhou gave a light chuckle, his eyes shifting toward her. "Xu Xieyi, I've found that you're really good at hiding things."

"What... am I hiding?"

She didn't understand, but Xu Muzhou had no intention of explaining.

Together, they looked at the trees beside the teaching building and the distant sky.

It was a rare clear day, and the wind blowing against their faces carried the warmth of sunlight. The sky was a pale, gentle blue.

"Xu Xieyi, are you starting to understand me yet?"

The boy was slender, and looking up at his profile from Xu Xieyi's angle, his jawline appeared lean and well-defined.

"Mm."

"Then what do you think of me?" Xu Muzhou lowered his head.

After some thought, Xu Xieyi answered with deadpan seriousness, "We think... we should focus on our studies first."

Xu Muzhou burst into laughter, his voice bright and hearty. "Alright! Whatever you say."

"..." Huh.

Xu Muzhou was a bit different from what she had initially imagined; he wasn't all that cold, and his personality turned out to be quite easygoing and cheerful.

Of all the people she had met, only Lin Sheng truly possessed a cold disposition.

Youth was in its prime.

At their age, they still had plenty of time to waste, to wait, and to venture forth. The future was still shrouded in mist, and everything remained unknown.

From the classroom behind them, Gao Changyang's voice drifted over from time to time, echoing softly in the corridor.

Xu Muzhou chuckled softly and turned his head. "Not bad, Xu Xieyi. You're getting bolder; you aren't even afraid of talking to me anymore."

Xu Xieyi smiled faintly and said nothing.

After a moment:

"Xu Muzhou, what do you want to do in the future?"

With his hands still in his pockets, Xu Muzhou paused for a couple of seconds. "I haven't thought about my future profession yet. Just... get into a good university first, I suppose. Then fall in love, work hard, and support a wife and kids. Most people's lives are just like that."

He added, "Actually, instead of thinking so much, it's better to just down-to-earthly do what's right in front of you."

"Mm," Xu Xieyi agreed.

Xu Muzhou turned to her with a smile again. "Am I being too realistic? Not romantic at all."

Xu Xieyi kept a faint smile on her face, then looked at the leaves fluttering in the wind, remaining silent for a long time. Finally, she spoke softly, almost to herself, "Perhaps... life is supposed to be like this..."

"My parents kind of want me to test into a medical university and become a doctor in the future," Xu Muzhou said, gazing at the leaves.

Xu Xieyi's fingers suddenly curled beneath her school uniform sleeves, and she glanced at him with a trace of awkwardness. "Being a doctor... sounds rather terrifying."

"I think so too."

When he smiled, his white teeth flashed. "I still prefer a sunnier work environment; I can't stand the smell of disinfectant. Besides, studying medicine is terribly hard."

"Mm... it really is hard."

Almost unconsciously, Xu Xieyi thought of Lin Sheng's fingers. His fingernails were always so clean they looked slightly pale. The skin on the back of his hands was naturally fair, and when the occasional light hit them, they looked somewhat sickly.

Then again, he was someone prone to getting sick.

Even though he was someone who needed looking after, he always... lived alone.

Xu Muzhou had a good personality, quite extroverted, and brought up a few more topics.

Xu Xieyi listened quietly, but her thoughts were elsewhere.

Her gaze drifted into the clouds, her brows furrowing every now and then.

When she finally snapped out of it, she glanced at Xu Muzhou, who was still talking...

The boy walking beside her, speaking fluently and eloquently, seemed to be reminding her to recognize her own place and the distance between herself and "that world."

She pulled herself away from the swirling haze of restlessness and grew much more sober.

--

The parent-teacher meeting ended, and middle-aged adults streamed out of the classroom in twos and threes.

Hearing the bustling noises, Xu Xieyi turned her head and abruptly caught sight of Lin Sheng.

He seemed to have come out long ago. Leaning against the wall, he cast a lazy, indifferent gaze in her direction.

Xu Xieyi started slightly, hurriedly said goodbye to Xu Muzhou, and walked over to him.

Lin Sheng straightened up. "Done chatting with your classmate?"

"Brother Lin, you... weren't you inside for the meeting?"

"It was a bit stuffy, so I came out early."

That meant he had been standing there watching for quite a while.

"Then why didn't you call me..." Xu Xieyi grew nervous, her dark, glossy eyes darting quickly toward Lin Sheng.

Lin Sheng remained unperturbed, leaving her to guess his thoughts as the corners of his mouth unconsciously curved upward slightly.

After a few seconds:

"Let's go. What do you want to eat for lunch? I'll take you."

"Anything is fine. I'm not a picky eater."

She was utterly sincere and accommodating. Lin Sheng lowered his gaze, the corners of his lips hooking.

- Eat you.

- Is that allowed?

When they walked down the stairs, they happened to pass right by Xu Muzhou.

Xu Xieyi gave him a polite smile as a greeting.

Lin Sheng cast a casual glance his way.

The boy kept his hands in his school trousers pockets, staring at him guardedly.

--

The restaurant was chosen by Lin Sheng.

This time, instead of the high-end establishment from before, it was an ordinary roadside hot pot restaurant not far from the school. Xu Xieyi only remembered after they went inside and sat down.

Isn't this the exact same little eatery where she treated Lin Sheng to a meal earlier in the year?

Looking at the greasy, noisy environment now, the contrast with the places Lin Sheng usually frequented was simply too stark.

She could vividly imagine what Lin Sheng's feelings must have been when he sat down to eat here last time.

As someone so picky and fond of cleanliness, he must have found it utterly agonizing. Xu Xieyi remembered that Lin Sheng had barely touched the food back then.

However...

If he didn't like it, why come again today?

The waiter brought the pot, clicked the induction cooker up to its maximum temperature with a series of beeps, and steam slowly began to rise, forming a veil-like white mist between the two of them.

"Brother Lin, I remember you don't like eating this. When I treated you last time, you only drank and didn't touch your chopsticks at all."

Lin Sheng straightened his chopsticks and lifted his eyelids. "It's fine now."

"...Oh." Xu Xieyi gave him a somewhat puzzled look.

Lin Sheng asked about her recent studies, briefed her on some matters from the parent-teacher conference, and mentioned that he would call her parents later to relay the details.

Xu Xieyi politely expressed her gratitude.

The topics between the two of them always seemed to be like that—lacking in depth, yet somehow they had both grown accustomed to this way of interacting.

She couldn't read his profound depths.

Nor did he impatiently dismiss her occasional childish questions.

"Have you ever thought about your own future?"

Hearing this, Xu Xieyi raised her head. Lin Sheng was looking at her, his eyes calm and sharp.

There seemed to be some hidden meaning in that gaze...

On the table in front of them, pale yellow buckwheat tea slowly released wisps of steam.

Watching the steam, Xu Xieyi lowered her voice and said slowly, "My grandfather says you should do what's appropriate for each stage of life. I want to... study hard right now, and perhaps become a teacher in the future, or do some other job that's suitable for a girl."

She bit her lip, her lowered brows and eyes smooth and peaceful. "I haven't been very smart or outstanding since I was little, and my parents don't expect me to make a fortune. I just... want to live a steady, stable life."

Lin Sheng didn't speak for a long time.

Sensing that the atmosphere was off, Xu Xieyi lifted her eyes, only to find that he was still looking at her.

Their eyes met, and her heartbeat grew increasingly pronounced, her gaze fluttering awkwardly with nowhere to settle.

Gradually, Lin Sheng's pupils deepened, and his voice turned low and gentle. "Alright. Being steady is quite good."

The atmosphere grew subtly frozen.

"What about you, Brother Lin? What about your future?" Xu Xieyi masked her urgency.

Perhaps because he hadn't heard anyone ask him this type of question in a long time, Lin Sheng couldn't help finding it slightly amusing.

Looking neither wholly joking nor entirely serious, he said, "Wandering."

"Huh?"

Xu Xieyi was taken aback, clearly completely baffled.

Amidst the pure white steam, Lin Sheng's features appeared somewhat blurred.

"In this world, everyone is wandering. Either you steer your own course, or you just go with the flow."

Xu Xieyi digested this for quite a while before finally grasping some semblance of meaning.

She recalled the fragments she had heard from Du Qian and Chu Yuefei regarding Lin Sheng's background.

He had lived with his grandparents since he was a child, then went abroad alone when he was in his teens, and after returning, he rarely seemed to go home. In the few months she had spent at the Lin residence, she had never once laid eyes on his parents.

"Do you mind if your older brother has a cigarette?"

Xu Xieyi shook her head sideways, her eyes remaining fixed on Lin Sheng without blinking.

His posture as he held the cigarette was refined as he sat quietly across from her.

He had eaten very little, having long since stopped using his chopsticks, which now lay neatly in their place.

"In January, your brother is going somewhere else. I'll be very busy during this period, so this might be the last time we sit down to eat together."

Slightly startled, Xu Xieyi put down her chopsticks. "You're leaving?"

"Mm."

Xu Xieyi sat in a daze for two seconds, clearly still failing to digest this sudden piece of news. "Where are you going?"

"First I'm going abroad, and then probably to Ningxi."

Xu Xieyi had never even left her province; she only knew that Ningxi was very far away.

For a moment, her heart felt hollow, and she simply lowered her head to eat in silence.

Lin Sheng paid the bill, and the two of them stepped out of the hot pot restaurant.

The sunlight had faded from the sky, leaving behind an overcast day.

There were still dozens of meters between the restaurant entrance and where the car was parked.

"Brother Lin."

Lin Sheng turned his head to find the young girl had stopped in her tracks.

Her delicate little face wore a troubled expression. "You... shouldn't wander anymore."

The fallen leaves on the street were swept up by a car zooming past them. The wind gently ruffled the hem of Lin Sheng's coat. His voice was low and slightly hoarse. "..Then what do you want me to do?"

That gaze made Xu Xieyi feel as though her hands had nowhere to go. She clasped them together in front of her and lowered her head, saying very earnestly, "You should... find someone, get married, and let them take care of you."

In short, he shouldn't be alone anymore.

Hearing those words, Lin Sheng suddenly burst into a smile.