Chapter 33: You Make a Move, I Counter

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Chapter 33: You Set the Line, I’ll Match It

At the mention of stinky tofu, Bai Qiannuo suddenly covered her lips and burst into peals of laughter. Her proud bosom shook violently with each laugh, an exceedingly seductive sight.

“What are you laughing at?” Li Qi asked with a dark expression. He was deeply vexed. When he joked with her, she pretended to be solemn; when he spoke seriously, she turned around and teased him instead. He truly could not understand what went on in this woman’s mind. No wonder people said women were impossible to understand.

Bai Qiannuo shot him a sidelong glance and snorted. “There isn’t a single truthful word you say.”

“Injustice! This is the greatest injustice under Heaven!”

Li Qi shouted angrily, “Lady Bai, you are insulting my character. You should go ask around. I, Li Qi, am famous for being an honest man. I help old grandmothers cross the street and assist elderly gentlemen in making steamed buns, yet I never tell anyone about it. And as for lies, I haven’t the faintest idea what they are.”

To speak such lies with such righteous indignation—throughout the whole Great Song Dynasty, Li Qi was probably the only person capable of it.

If you count as an honest man, then surely every person beneath Heaven must be honest.

Bai Qiannuo’s little face flushed red as she fought back her laughter. “Since that is so, why don’t you tell me what fine ingredients your stinky tofu is made from?”

“Please,” Li Qi said impatiently. “That is the lifeblood of our Drunken Immortal House. How could I casually reveal it to anyone? Even if you and Madam Qin are as close as sisters, I still have nothing to say.”

Not even Uncle Wu and his nephew knew the secret recipe very well, much less Bai Qiannuo. How could Li Qi possibly reveal it to her so easily?

Bai Qiannuo realized she had misspoken. A blush spread across her delicate cheeks as she snorted. “Though I don’t know what your stinky tofu is actually made from, I do know that it certainly isn’t made with the eight kinds of fine ingredients you claim.”

How did she know? Could Uncle Wu and his nephew have told her?

Li Qi’s heart jolted, though he kept an expression of calm composure. “Lady Bai, don’t think that being beautiful gives you the right to make wild accusations. If you have the ability, produce some evidence.”

“I don’t have any evidence,” Bai Qiannuo replied with a smile, “but I do know how much capital you possess.”

“You know how much capital I have?” Li Qi threw back his head and laughed several times before shaking it. “I doubt even Madam Qin and Uncle Wu know that. How could you possibly know? I see you must have been as honest as I was when you were young. Otherwise, how could you not even know how to tell a lie?”

Bai Qiannuo smiled sweetly. “Don’t forget where your capital came from. As it happens, I contributed quite a bit to it.”

That was true! Of the couplets hung on the Emerald Pavilion that day, one of them had been composed by this girl.

Li Qi suddenly understood. Frowning, he asked, “Were you at the Emerald Pavilion that day?”

Bai Qiannuo shook her head. “Though I did not see it with my own eyes, I heard people say that the person who supplied the second line was tall and thin, with an unusual short haircut, a very peculiar accent, and extremely strange mannerisms and speech—”

“That’s enough, enough! Unusual, peculiar, strange—you merely want to say that person was me. Why go around in so many circles?”

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Li Qi interrupted Bai Qiannuo impatiently. He thought to himself, She makes me sound like an alien. If I let her continue, who knows what kind of monster she’ll turn me into?

He simply nodded and admitted, “That’s right. I confess—the person was me. You wouldn’t happen to bear a grudge because I completed your couplet and have come here deliberately to torment me, would you?”

“Who’s tormenting you? Obviously it was—forget it. I’m not as petty as you are. Besides, whoever completed the second line, I would have been delighted.” Bai Qiannuo pursed her little lips and snorted.

“Delighted?”

Li Qi was stunned, his face filled with astonishment.

Bai Qiannuo’s pretty face flushed red. She was extremely annoyed with herself. What was wrong with her today? Why did she keep saying the wrong things whenever she faced this scoundrel?

She snorted and said, “Don’t try to change the subject. I have also heard Sister Wang speak of you.”

Madam Qin?

Li Qi was very curious. He hurriedly asked, “What did Madam Qin say about me? Did she say I was tall and handsome, sharp and capable, practically the embodiment of good looks and wisdom?”

Bai Qiannuo burst out laughing and rolled her eyes at him. “Sister Wang doesn’t possess your literary flair. She merely said that you were originally a drunkard from the streets, with not a thing to your name, and that you were fortunate enough to be taken in by Uncle Wu, allowing you to earn a living.”

Li Qi nearly broke into a cold sweat.

A flicker of disappointment passed through his eyes, though he said disdainfully, “That’s all? I thought it would be something impressive. Still, what she said was entirely correct. But what does that prove?”

“That is where the problem lies.” Bai Qiannuo nodded and smiled. “You said earlier that Sister Wang did not contribute even a single coin. Therefore, the capital you possessed could not have exceeded one hundred taels. If you intended to use that one hundred taels to earn a thousand strings of cash in a mere fifteen days, then the cost of your stinky tofu naturally could not have been very high.”

This girl’s mind was far too quick.

Li Qi wailed inwardly, though he maintained an outward appearance of calm. “You’re right, but you seem to have overlooked one point.”

“Oh? I would be delighted to hear it.” Bai Qiannuo was curious.

“Don’t forget that the amount of stinky tofu sold by the Drunken Immortal House each day is extremely limited. It can definitely be said that demand far exceeds supply. If the cost of making this stinky tofu were low, why would I leave money sitting on the table? I sell only this small amount each day. How much tofu could one hundred taels buy? Surely I needn’t spell that out for you.”

At this, Li Qi sighed. “To tell you the truth, this stinky tofu hardly earns us any money at all. Otherwise, with business so good, wouldn’t I seize the opportunity to make a fortune? If I truly lacked money, I could borrow some from Uncle Wu or Madam Qin. Seeing how prosperous the business is, would they really refuse to lend me any?”

This was something Bai Qiannuo herself found very puzzling. She had heard a little about the spectacle outside the Drunken Immortal House yesterday, but when Apricot returned, she told her that the restaurant had already closed its doors by the time she arrived.

That had astonished Bai Qiannuo greatly. It had only been noon, after all—the very time when a restaurant’s business should have been at its peak. Unless the stinky tofu had truly sold out, as Apricot claimed, she could think of no other explanation.

Yet judging from Li Qi’s deliberate efforts to purchase the Drunken Immortal House, she vaguely felt that he was not the sort of person who acted without purpose.

Curious, she asked, “If what you say is true, how do you intend to earn a thousand strings of cash in such a short time?”

Li Qi spread his hands and answered evasively, “What else can I do? I’ll just keep selling tofu. Perhaps I really will earn a thousand strings by then. Doing business is like waging war. Until the very last moment, no one can say for certain who will win or lose.”

Seeing his leisurely air and the complete absence of worry on his face, Bai Qiannuo knew that he must have made preparations long ago. He simply did not wish to reveal them.

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Since Li Qi was unwilling to say more, Bai Qiannuo naturally could not press him. Still, she felt rather expectant.

When Li Qi saw her fall silent, his eyes suddenly shifted. “Lady Bai, I’ve just thought of a wonderful way to make money, but I’ll need you to do me a small favor.”

Bai Qiannuo looked surprised. “You need my help?”

“Exactly!” Li Qi nodded, then suddenly lowered his voice. “I heard that the couplet from the Emerald Pavilion last time was obtained from you by Master Cai for a large sum of money. Is that really true?”

Seeing the crafty look spread across his face, Bai Qiannuo hesitated for a moment before nodding. “That is indeed what happened.”

Li Qi admired how calmly and frankly she admitted it, without the slightest hint of affectation. Compared with those pedantic scholars and so-called talents, she was immeasurably better.

He gave several sly chuckles. “Lady Bai, how about this? The two of us can work together and compose several couplets. You sell the first lines to Master Cai, and I’ll provide the second lines. Each exchange could bring at least one or two hundred strings of cash into our hands. You sell, I answer; you sell again, I answer again. After a few rounds, wouldn’t we have our thousand strings? Master Cai is wealthy enough, after all, and we wouldn’t need to invest a single coin. This is a business guaranteed to make money without loss. Someone as clever as you, Lady Bai, surely wouldn’t let such an opportunity pass.”

The more Li Qi spoke, the more excited he became, waving both hands incessantly.

What a merchant of deceit! A complete and utter swindler!

This was not business at all. It was plainly a scheme to cheat someone. Had this fellow gone mad from longing for money?

Bai Qiannuo had always regarded fame and wealth lightly, but she did not possess Li Qi’s shamelessness. If word of this spread, people would point at her and curse her. Li Qi was clearly trying to drag her into an immoral act.

Looking at Li Qi’s hopeful expression, Bai Qiannuo’s eyes flashed with cunning. She nodded and said, “That is indeed a clever plan.”

Li Qi assumed she had agreed, and his heart leaped with joy. But before he could celebrate, Bai Qiannuo suddenly changed tack.

“However, I can carry out this business by myself. Why should I cooperate with you? Wouldn’t it be far more satisfying to keep the money for myself?”

The excitement on Li Qi’s face instantly froze.

Seeing his expression, Bai Qiannuo giggled. “You should simply continue selling your stinky tofu like an honest man. This young lady will take her leave first.”

With that, she turned and trotted away.

Only after Bai Qiannuo had vanished from sight did Li Qi realize what had happened. He jumped up in fury and pointed in the direction she had gone, cursing, “You ugly little brat! How dare you try to keep the whole fortune for yourself! I’ll expose you! I absolutely will! Disgraceful—utterly disgraceful!”

End of Chapter 33