Chapter 2: Learning to Be a Baby

“Just piss already! Why does a big man like you act like a little girl, needing someone to accompany you?”

Jiang Luan couldn’t stand it any longer.

The guy opposite him looked about the same age, tall and burly, probably around six foot three—an exceptionally rare height in this era of poor nutrition and low productivity.

Moreover, his physique was impressive: broad shoulders, slim waist, resembling a sleek, vibrant leopard. His muscles were long and well-defined, clearly the result of frequent outdoor exercise.

Yet, despite this rugged appearance, his facial expression bore a hesitant, indecisive softness that felt incongruous.

The man looked somewhat aggrieved, slightly pouting. “Aunt Wang told me not to roam outside at night. I have to sleep in bed holding my wife.”

Jiang Luan raised his eyes and scrutinized the fellow carefully, finally pinpointing the source of the odd feeling… This young master Qi from the Qi family seemed a bit mentally off.

“How many fingers is this?” Jiang Luan held up one finger.

“One!”

“And this one?”

“Five!” The young master Qi was growing annoyed. “I’m not stupid! Wife, are you going to take me to pee or not?”

“All right, let’s go.” Jiang Luan sighed deeply. “By the way, buddy, your name is… Qi Shaolin, right?”

Qi Shaolin blinked and suddenly stepped closer, standing right in front of Jiang Luan.

Jiang Luan, who was originally around five foot ten, had shrunk considerably since transmigrating. Now, blocked by Qi Shaolin’s imposing frame like a wall, he had to look up at him.

The overwhelming presence triggered a faint sense of danger.

“What are you doing?” Jiang Luan suppressed the urge to bolt and glared at him.

Qi Shaolin placed his hand on Jiang Luan’s forehead, tilted his head slightly, and asked with innocent sincerity, “Wife, are you burning up? Don’t you even recognize Lin’er?”

“…”

Damn it, being suspected of being an idiot by an idiot himself.

Jiang Luan brushed aside Qi Shaolin’s hand, snapping irritably, “Hurry up and pee. Stop talking so much!”

Following Qi Shaolin to the latrine, Jiang Luan took the chance to relieve himself as well.

Afterward, he felt utterly refreshed, as if nothing in the world could trouble him now. Whatever problems there were, he could just sleep on them.

But as he lay back down, eyes closed, a question suddenly struck him…

Wait a minute, I’m supposed to be female now, so why am I still standing to pee?

This thought made him restless. He got up, lit a candle, and lifted his clothes to check carefully.

Good, his chest was flat. Then he pulled down his trousers… The equipment was a bit small but still there, with no strange additions.

Jiang Luan’s face brightened with joy.

The original owner not only shared his name but also his gender, so he could continue living as a man.

But this raised a new problem…

Qi Shaolin had already moved to his bed and was almost asleep when Jiang Luan’s fussing woke him up. Rubbing his eyes, the little fool looked at Jiang Luan bewildered:

“Wife, what are you doing?”

Jiang Luan, still with his shirt open, clicked his tongue. “Look, we both have the same body structure, both men. How can I marry you and you still call me ‘wife’?”

“N-no, it’s different.” Qi Shaolin glanced at him shyly, then looked away, murmuring softly, “Wife, you’re so fair and rosy; you married me to be my wife.”

What the hell does “fair and rosy” mean? Jiang Luan’s usually thick-skinned face flushed with embarrassment. He quickly buttoned up his shirt.

He cleared his throat. “But I’m a man; I can’t be your wife.”

“Nonsense!” The grown child reacted quickly, glaring at Jiang Luan with a hurt expression. “We performed the wedding rites; you’re my wife! Wife, do you not want me anymore?”

“Yin and yang harmony is the proper way. Two men together—what kind of thing is that? Besides, I don’t like men…”

Jiang Luan’s words trailed off.

He saw tears welling in Qi Shaolin’s clear eyes, on the verge of spilling over.

Oh no, this scene!

“Wife, it’s my fault.” Qi Shaolin lowered his head, black hair falling by his face, hiding his expression. “I’m too dumb and just can’t learn.”

His voice trembled with sorrow! Jiang Luan was completely at a loss.

He couldn’t comfort a girl in tears, let alone a boy.

“Hey, don’t cry…”

In a flurry, Jiang Luan tried to wipe Qi Shaolin’s face with his sleeve but was caught by a large hand gripping his wrist.

“Wife, the picture book you gave me—I’ll study hard!” Qi Shaolin said firmly, eyes sparkling as he stared into Jiang Luan’s.

Startled by his gaze, Jiang Luan thought, Isn’t this guy a young master? Why are his palms so rough?

He raised his voice roughly to cover his flustered state, “Wh-what was I making you learn?”

“Learning to be a baby.”

Qi Shaolin said this with the purest innocence, causing Jiang Luan to burst out laughing.

“Learn what?” he managed.

Qi Shaolin pulled a picture book from under his pillow and opened it to show Jiang Luan.

Jiang Luan glanced at it.

Holy hell, it was a male-male erotic picture book! And in full color!

Original owner, how desperate were you to do this to a slow-witted grown child?

Jiang Luan felt like a mother catching her underage son watching porn and snatched the book away.

“Confiscated. Don’t study this anymore.”

“??” Qi Shaolin looked utterly innocent, full of question marks.

“Don’t look at me. Even if you learn it, it’s useless—I can’t give birth.” Jiang Luan twitched his mouth, struck dumb by the absurdity. “Alright, go to sleep! Stop nagging.”

He helped the confused Qi Shaolin into bed and tucked him in.

Then, blowing out the candle, he sighed in the darkness.

Every day is like this… sigh.

He hoped that when he woke tomorrow, he’d still be lying on his old six-person wooden bed.

…

Clearly, that was impossible.

The next morning, Jiang Luan woke with messy hair, sitting on the bed looking utterly defeated, his gaze fixed on the maid bustling about.

“Hey, thanks, I’ll wash myself.”

The maid tried to help him wash his face but was immediately stopped.

He’d never been served by a girl before; it was a bit uncomfortable.

Jiang Luan jumped off the bed and washed his face and brushed his teeth himself.

He turned and noticed the maid’s stiff movements and strange glances.

Damn it! He forgot to hide that picture book!

Jiang Luan dashed over and stuffed the erotic book under the bed.

The maid was speechless.

“Where’s the young master?” Jiang Luan cleared his throat.

That little fool was quite diligent; when he woke, his quilt was cold and the bed empty.

The maid came to comb Jiang Luan’s hair, casually saying, “The eldest young master probably went to the back mountain. At this time, he’s always out hunting birds.”

“Oh.”

Jiang Luan didn’t refuse the maid’s help; after all, his hair was long, and he didn’t know how to manage it.

But sitting before the mirror and seeing his new self, Jiang Luan was stunned.

What a fresh-faced young man!

The reflection was of a delicate oval face, fair skin, refined features, eyes half-lidded—once captivating peach blossom eyes, now shaded by Jiang Luan’s own lazy air. A bright red beauty mark blossomed between his brows, even more vivid than that of Duke Su Ping last night.

In truth, the original owner resembled Jiang Luan somewhat, but his skin was paler and more delicate, his features smaller and seeming somewhat frail.

Jiang Luan was not pleased; he was so annoyed he wanted to bang the table.

Damn it! How did I become such a sissy?

“Young madam, what hairstyle shall I do today?” The maid gently worked on his black hair.

“Whatever, just do as you like…” Jiang Luan answered weakly.

Then he recalled Duke Su Ping’s jangling, androgynous look from last night, and changed his mind. “Just a ponytail, thanks!”

The maid silently put down her hairpin.

Rejecting any makeup, Jiang Luan simply tied a high ponytail with a ribbon, wore a white gauzy robe with a loose outer robe pinned with a few needles, adorned with a jade pendant at the waist, and cloaked himself in a snowy white mantle. Holding a hand warmer, he followed a footman to the main hall for breakfast.

At the round table in the main hall sat several people, including the woman Jiang Luan had seen last night and a youth in blue robes. Upon seeing him, the youth rose politely and cupped his hands, “Sister-in-law.”

“…”

Being called sister-in-law, Jiang Luan smiled wryly and replied politely, “Good morning, younger uncle.”

He found a seat and exhaled deeply.

It was baffling; the distance from the east wing to the main hall was only a few hundred meters, yet he arrived sweaty and short of breath.

What kind of poor constitution did the original owner have? A real man shouldn’t be this weak; he needed to train hard.

The woman poured tea and smiled reassuringly, “Luan’er, you needn’t worry about last night. The duke has been managing the household affairs lately, and with so much on his plate, he’s bound to be irritable.”

The blue-robed youth asked the woman, “Mother, what happened last night?”

The woman recounted the entire incident to the youth in detail.

Jiang Luan listened attentively while observing the mother and son at the table.

Since the youth had called him “sister-in-law,” he must be Qi Shaolin’s younger cousin, making the woman Qi Shaolin’s aunt.

Living together with relatives, the old man from last night was likely the grandfather of these cousins, and Duke Su Ping was obviously Qi Shaolin’s father…

Wait, that couldn’t be right. The woman had addressed Duke Su Ping as “sister-in-law” last night, so the duke should be Qi Shaolin’s mother. But a man can’t bear children. Could it be a step-parent situation?

What was wrong with the Qi family father and son, all wanting men as their wives?

“Hearing such things,” the blue-robed youth said with concern to Jiang Luan, “I’m sorry you were frightened, sister-in-law. I will order stronger patrols and assign more guards to the east wing.”

Jiang Luan admired the youth’s mature and polite manner, nodding, “Thank you, younger uncle.”

The woman sighed, “The duke’s temper has always been arrogant, Luan’er, you know that. Lin’er is like this again… marrying into our Qi family has truly been hard on you.”

Jiang Luan found her words puzzling and said nothing, idly playing with the jade pendant in his hand.